Remember when we were kids and our parents told us not to “run with a bad crowd?” When they advised us to befriend people who’d lift us up, not drag us down? When they warned us that we’d be judged later in life by the company we kept? Perhaps they even shared this wisdom from the New Testament: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Which brings me to Dan Crenshaw, the MAGA Texas congressman. This guy really needs to make some new friends, because running with the MAGA crowd is dragging him (and the country) way the hell down.
On CNN yesterday, he did sorta admit that their inability to find a new House Speaker was sorta pathetic: “There’s no positive messages here. (But) I don’t want to give everybody the impression that it’s a giant crisis either. And I know it sometimes feels that way. This is democracy.”
Then he proceeded to say that his next choice for Speaker is Jim Jordan – who’s the precise antithesis of democracy, having plotted with Trump in fascist fashion to overthrow the 2020 election results; who, if elevated to Speaker (and third in line to the presidency), would surely do his damndest to block another Joe Biden win in 2024; and who, in his many unhinged moments, comports himself like a coked-up chimp.
Crenshaw riffed at length yesterday about what a swell dude Jordan is – “His reputation has changed over time. He has become part of the solution, not part of the problem. I have had a lot of good conversations with him. I have gotten to know him. There’s a reason I support him” – until host Jake Tapper inserted this little reminder:
“He was one of the conspirators on the attempt to overturn the election…I mean, he defied the congressional subpoena and he was trying to get (veep Mike) Pence to overturn the electoral votes.”
This being TV, there was no time for Tapper to share the salient details. So I’ll do it here, with these excerpts from the final report of the House’s Jan. 6 Committee:
“Representative Jordan was a significant player in President Trump’s efforts. He participated in numerous post-election meetings in which senior White House officials, Rudolph Giuliani, and others, discussed strategies for challenging the election, chief among them (false) claims that the election had been tainted by fraud. On January 2, 2021, Representative Jordan led a conference call in which he, President Trump, and other Members of Congress discussed strategies for delaying the January 6th joint session. During that call, the group also discussed issuing social media posts encouraging President Trump’s supporters to ‘march to the Capitol’ on the 6th…The day before January 6th, Representative Jordan texted Mark Meadows, passing along advice that Vice President Pence should ‘call out all the electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.’ He spoke with President Trump by phone at least twice on January 6th…Jordan was personally involved in the acts and circumstances of January 6th.”
When Crenshaw was reminded that Jordan was a coup conspirator, this was his answer:
“But a lot of them did that. If I held that grudge, I wouldn’t have friends in the Republican Conference, because a lot of them did that.”
Let’s translate that:
“Trashing the U.S. Constitution by trying to overthrow a democratic election is just a grudge, and I’m not gonna hold a grudge because if I did, I wouldn’t have any friends.”
Or maybe this:
“It’s true that 147 House Republicans, including my man Jim Jordan, refused to certify Joe Biden’s victory and confirm the peaceful transfer of power – but if I held that little thing against them, where am I gonna make 147 new friends?”
Or maybe this:
“You stick with friends in good times and bad times, even when they foment a violent insurrection and help plot a coup. So keep smilin’, keep shinin’, knowing they can always count on me, for sure, that’s what friends are for.” (With apologies to Burt Bacharach.)
When we were kids, imagine our parents’ reaction if we’d said: “I know that all my friends are shoplifters who vandalize the schools and the town pool, but what am I supposed to do, make new friends?”
The medical websites have lots of advice for people like Crenshaw. For instance, from WebMD: “One of the clearest signs of a bad friend is that your friend encourages criminal or dangerous behavior. If you’re starting to feel as though your friendship is becoming negative or is damaging your mental health, you should end the friendship immediately. It is important to surround yourself with positive and meaningful relationships.”
Alas, these MAGA co-dependents are deaf to advice and beyond redemption. At one point during his CNN gig, Crenshaw voiced this excuse for his sordid circle of friends: “Democracy is always messy…Look, it’s really hard to screw up America.”
But they’re certainly trying their damndest.