Unlike you, dear reader – who’d prefer to boil your eyeballs than watch another Republican “presidential” debate – I dutifully endured last night’s farce-a-thon, patiently waiting for the GOP’s shrinking junior varsity to address the most timely political issue plaguing the party: Abortion.
Given all the humiliating defeats that Republicans suffered in Tuesday’s elections – from Ohio to Kentucky, from Virginia to Pennsylvania – thanks to their reflexive hostility to reproductive rights, I was interested to hear whether these candidates (minus AWOL Trump) had any new ideas about how to halt the losses that have piled up ever since Trump’s high court theocrats killed Roe v. Wade.
Finally, 99 minutes into the 2-hour event, the topic came up. And they have no clue what to do.
What an anticlimax! Especially after I had to slog through so much muck along the way – like when Vivek Ramaswamy attacked Nikki Haley’s daughter and Haley responded by calling him “scum.”
Like when Tim Scott, in perhaps his swan-song appearance, declared that “we have sleeper terrorist cells in America, thousands of people have come from Yemen, Iran, Syria and Iraq,” despite zero evidence that it’s true.
Like when various candidates suggested going to war against Iran and/or Mexico and/or China.
Like when various candidates vowed to strengthen our (supposedly) weak military without ever mentioning that a fellow Republican, dumb jock Senator Tommy Tuberville, is holding up hundreds of military appointees.
Like when Ramaswamy, a Putin stooge, called Ukraine President Zelensky a “Nazi” (Zelensky is Jewish).
Like when nobody uttered a single word about climate change (2023 is the hottest year on record), or a single word about gun violence (we just had another mass shooting, this time in Maine), or, naturally, barely a word about the financial fraudster/criminal defendant/cult leader who’s beating them all.
And with respect to abortion, they’re still totally at sea. Much to the Democrats’ delight.
Ron DeSantis brought up Tuesday’s election debacles (“We saw last night, I’m sick of Republicans losing”) without acknowledging why Republicans have been losing – namely, because independents and young people and suburban women are furious about the Republican crusade against reproductive rights. He also neglected to mention that he’s part of the problem, having signed a Florida law that bans abortions after six weeks of pregnancy (i.e., virtually all abortions). He had nothing to say about what he’d do about abortion if he were president (he won’t be). He also said Republicans need to “do a better job” on abortion referenda, without ever explaining how.
Nikki Haley riffed – as she did in previous debates – about how we as a nation need to find “consensus” on abortion, but that’s rhetorical vapor. There is no possibility of “consensus” because either you believe that women have the right to control their bodies free of government meddling, or you don’t. Meanwhile, she’s sorta kinda opposed to the enactment of federal restrictions on abortion, but only because it’s politically unlikely, given the high bar of 60 filibuster-proof Senate votes and a Democrat in the White House.
Tim Scott declared, “I would certainly as president of the United States have a 15-week national limit. We need a 15-week federal limit,” which (1) ain’t gonna happen, for the reasons Haley cited, and (2) Virginia Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin championed that very same proposal in Tuesday’s statewide elections…and got his ass kicked, losing both legislative chambers.
Chris Christie acknowledged that, in the post-Roe era, different states are gonna have different abortion laws, but he never said what he’d do, if he were president, about the religious Republican zealots on Capitol Hill who are currently agitating for some kind of national ban. Indeed, nobody on stage uttered the name “Mike Johnson,” the zealot who runs the House and has co-sponsored a bill mandating a national abortion ban at roughly six weeks.
Lastly, ghastly Vivek Ramaswamy jabbered that Ohio’s abortion-rights referendum “effectively codifies abortion all the way up until the moment of birth without parental consent,” which is a blatant lie (big surprise). In reality, parental consent for minors stays on the books in Ohio, and “up until the moment of birth” is standard right-wing demagoguery, because late-term abortions (for emergency medical reasons) are exceedingly rare. Like, less than one percent of the national total. He also had nothing to say about what Republicans should do going forward, which is fine by me, because he isn’t worth another noun or verb.
Meanwhile, what about the frontrunner, who skipped last night’s debate and took refuge among his suckers at a rally up the road? He’s not saying much about abortion, either – but he’s on record with this braggadocio: “I got rid of Roe v. Wade…I was so honored to have done it.”
“Thanks a lot, ball and chain!” no other candidate will ever dare say.