I’ll keep it short today. Courtesy of the CDC, I shall now list the 19 safest American states – those with the highest percentage of citizens who are fully vaccinated against Covid, the states you might well feel most comfortable visiting this summer. Your challenge is to recognize what they all have in common. If you’re even passingly familiar with the 2020 election returns, you’ll ace it. It’s not a mystery that requires Sherlock Holmes. Your family dog can probably solve it.
The top 19 states, starting with the toppermost, are:
Vermont, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Maryland, New Mexico, Washington, New York, Hawaii, Oregon, Minnesota, Colorado, Virginia, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and California.
Gee. I’m busting my brain trying to connect the dots. How’s it going for you? Maybe it would help if I now list the worst states in the nation – the states with the lowest rates of fully vaccinated citizens, the states you are best advised to avoid, the states where Covid cooties remain most rampant thanks in part to the ongoing defiance of the fools who dwell within them.
The 16 worst states, working from the bottom up:
Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Tennessee, Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, Georgia, Oklahoma, West Virginia, South Carolina, Missouri, Indiana, Texas, and North Carolina.
With the sole exception of Georgia, they all have something in common, just as the top 19 have something in common. I can’t imagine what those could possibly be.
Maybe we should make this a contest. The deadline for your best guesses is “June 31,” a date that appears on Marjorie Taylor Greene’s calendar, as referenced in her recent letter to President Biden. But you should aim for June 30 anyway, just in case Jewish space lasers zap that extra day.