With the world in flames and the Secret Service winning the Rose Mary Woods Vanishing Evidence Award, what we badly need is some brief comic relief. Enter Alan Dershowitz.

The once-respected law professor, who morphed into a Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump toady (he insists that he kept his undies on while he was massaged by one of Epstein’s girls), is anxious to tell us these days how bad his feelings have been hurt. Here’s his latest lament on the right-wing Newsmax outlet: “I have been punished severely. I can’t speak at the library at Martha’s Vineyard. I can’t speak at the synagogue on Martha’s Vineyard.”

And why, perchance, is that?

“Because,” he says, “I defended the Constitution on behalf of President Trump.”

Oh.

First of all, the library and synagogue programmers on Martha’s Vineyard have the right to invite, or not invite, whomever they want. Apparently they believe that defending the Constitution and Donald Trump is…how shall I say this charitably…an oxymoron.

Remember, in the dim past of Impeachment One, when Dershowitz said it was no big deal that Trump had sought to extort Ukraine for fake dirt on the Biden family in order to better his re-election prospects? He said at the time: “If the president does something that he thinks will help him get elected, in the public interest, that cannot be the kind of quid quo pro that results in impeachment.”

And to think this guy actually taught law at Harvard. This was his reasoning: Trump extorting a foreign country for domestic dirt is inherently “in the national interest” and therefore not impeachable. Covering up the evidence of his behavior, and purging those who exposed it, are inherently “in the national interest” and therefore not impeachable.

But that’s all ancient history – like, two and a half years ago. Dershowitz has since updated his arguments, declaring most recently that the Jan. 6 committee, which as we all know is exposing Trump’s crime scene, is actually a witch hunt in the evil spirit of ’50s demagogue Joseph McCarthy. Dershowitz’s exact words: “I’ve never seen a congressional hearing like this since McCarthyism.”

Anyway, we were talking about Dershowitz’s bruised feelings. Now he’s venting to The New Yorker:

“Every year, I was invited to speak at the Martha’s Vineyard book fair. Suddenly it stopped when I defended the Constitution on behalf of Trump. Then it happened at the Martha’s Vineyard Hebrew Center, where I was a frequent speaker. Suddenly I’m no longer allowed to speak there…The other day there was a fund-raiser event on the Vineyard sponsored by Democratic Jews. The Jewish Democrats is the name of the organization, the Jewish Democrats. Now, if you ask a hundred people to name the five most well-known Jewish Democrats on Martha’s Vineyard…many would say I was one of them. I was essentially told not to come to this event.”

Aw boo hoo. Where’s my violin.

Why is Alan Dershowitz losing friends, particularly Jewish friends, on the Vineyard? Perhaps it’s because they have no tolerance for abetters of fascism.

Hey, how hard was that.