Let’s play! I’ll trade ya 10 Trump superheroes for one Jeffrey Epstein. I’ll trade ya 10 Mike Lindells, or 10 Kari Lakes, or 10 Rudy Giulianis at Four Seasons Landscaping, for just one scratch-off card of a stolen nuke doc.
But seriously folks. I’d forfeit 10,000 Trumps for just one Dwight Eisenhower card that shows him addressing the D-Day troops. Too bad Ike never had the bright idea of monetizing himself, because at least he had something to sell. Heck, it’s a shame Jimmy Carter never thought of it, since apparently he has wasted his retirement hammering up houses for people in need.
You’ve all heard the pitiable loon’s latest cry for help: Send him 99 bucks for each digital playing card depicting him with hunky pecs in macho poses (he says it “doesn’t sound like very much for what you’re getting”). I suppose I could write an entire column marveling that this loser actually spent four years with the nuclear launch codes and aspires to do so again.
But I have a better idea. I’ll yield the floor to the motley MAGA fans who seem to have finally awoken from their long stupor and realized – with all the power of a flickering 20-watt bulb – that, hey, the man behind the curtain might just be…a fraud who wants to line his pockets by taking us for a ride!
This is significant, because if even the acolytes are angry, it likely means that Trump’s new candidacy will crash faster than Trump Airlines. Let’s sample some of the social media sentiment, shall we?
On Twitter, a MAGAt who calls himself “viking guy” writes: “We’ve all been played – I’m tired of making excuses for him. I guess I will never stop having a tiny sliver of hope that all this is part of some grand plan, but at this point I’m refusing to be a sucker anymore.”
“Robby,” another erstwhile fan, assails the digital cards as “ridiculous. People want serious fighting leadership right now, not distractions/trolling…This not the kind of fight people want to see now. These are dark times. Love the guy, but this turns many off.”
“Lou,” another crestfallen soul, writes: “Totally agree. What an absolute ridiculous product, and what’s worse than the product was the product launch with all the ‘major’ speculation. For it to turn out to be some stupid digital cards is frankly quite disrespectful to his ardent supporters.”
“Papi,” another disappointed dude, says: “This is why I’m done with Trump. He might as well restart Trump Steaks.”
“UltraMaga” is fuming: “This is a joke and final straw. He is unserious, out of touch and, not the man for 2024.”
Some dude nicknamed “Rollo” is seething: “Unserious move during very serious times. Shame on you, sir. It really is over (for) my buddy Trump. Now you’re making a fool of yourself, sir.”
(“Now?”)
Another fan laments that Trump “sure doesn’t know how to broaden his base…Trump definitely knows how to emphasize the worst aspects of his personality.”
Another fan, allergic to punctuation, despairs: “Has Trump lost his mind really trading cards how the fuck is that going to help our country.”
And this one might be my favorite: ““What a stupid asshole. Seriously. I give up.”
No wait! This one is my favorite: Convicted felon Steve Bannon, referring to Trump’s big video announcement, said: “I can’t watch it again. Make it stop.”
Yeah no kidding, Sherlock. We’ve been saying that for years. But we’ll take all the strange bedfellows we can get.