I’ve long viewed golf as too boring to write about – even though I did shoot in the high 80s on my high school’s golf team. That was eons ago, long before I learned about the environmental damage wrought by America’s golf courses (daily irrigation requires two billion gallons of water). Today, my cure for insomnia is to channel-surf to a tournament where white guys bestride green pastures.
So I confess that I couldn’t care less. But what I do care about – what we all should care about – is amorality and hypocrisy and capitalism in its most craven iteration.
The announcement yesterday, by leaders of the PGA Tour, that they are merging with the rival golf tour bankrolled by the Saudi crown prince, checks all those boxes. Actually, “merging” is a misnomer. A murderous foreign regime with a horrific human rights record is engineering a takeover of American golf. PGA commissioner Jay Monahan says “the game of golf is better for what we’ve done today,” but in truth he has capitulated to Saudi money and soaked his game in blood.
This is classic “sportswashing,” the practice of using a sport to launder a sordid reputation. The PGA is now officially deaf and dumb about the Saudi connection to 9/11 (Saudi nationals helped finance al-Qaeda, a Saudi diplomat provided guidance, and 15 of the 19 terrorists were Saudis), the dismemberment of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi, the regime’s penchant for mass beheadings, the repressive treatment of women and gays, and much more.
One year ago, when Saudis’ rival LIV Golf organization was poaching American pros, luring them with filthy lucre, you never could’ve guessed that the PGA commissioner’s soul might ever be for sale. Interviewed by CBS Sports, he sounded like the paragon of virtue:
“I’ve talked to a number of players individually for a long period of time, and I think you’d have to be living under a rock to not know that there are significant implications (about bedding down with the Saudis). And, as it relates to the families of 9/11, I have two families that are close to me that have lost loved ones. So my heart goes out to them. And I would ask any player that has left (the PGA), and any player that would ever consider leaving, ‘Have you ever had to apologize for being a member of the PGA tour’?”
The PGA even sued the Saudis, seeking to stop player defections and protect the American game. Monahan publicly disdained the idea of ever surrendering to a rival golf tour that was designed to whitewash the kingdom’s serial sins. He said last fall, “It hasn’t been in the cards and it’s not in the cards. I think we’ve been pretty consistent on that front.”
Fast forward to now. The Saudi crown prince’s moneyman, Yasir Al-Rumayyan, will take over as chairman of the board – and Monahan has dynamited the PGA’s moral high ground. Here he is:
“The PGA Tour’s history, legacy, and pro-competitive model not only remains intact, but is supercharged for the future…Going forward, fans can be confident that we will, collectively, deliver on the promise we’ve always made – to promote competition of the best in professional golf and that we are committed to securing and driving the game’s future…The game of golf is better for what we’ve done today.”
Holy bone saw! And you thought the high rollers on Succession were mendacious.
Meanwhile, the PGA’s loyal golfers got hung out to dry. Wesley Bryan, one of the pros, tweeted yesterday: “I feel betrayed, and will not be able to trust anyone within the corporate structure of the PGA Tour for a very long time.” Collin Morikawa, ranked 18th in the world, lamented “the longest day in golf.” Another pro, McKenzie Hughes, said: “Nothing like finding out through Twitter that we’re merging with a tour that we said we’d never do that with.” Another, Dylan Wu, assailed Monahan for “going back on everything he said the past 2 years. The hypocrisy…I guess money always wins.”
And, predictably, Donald Trump is thrilled with the deal. You knew he’d be involved somehow, the same way feces draws flies.
“Great news from LIV Golf. A big, beautiful, and glamorous deal for the wonderful world of golf. Congrats to all!!!” Which is what you’d expect from a guy who’s so intertwined with the Saudis – and with the LIV Tour, which he has hosted – that Jack Smith has been investigating those links.
If you’ve read this far, you probably need a squeegee to scrape off the slime. Because this deal brings to mind the infamous speech by Gordon Gekko in the ’87 film Wall Street: “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.”
In the spirit of protest, I have advice for those of you who tune to golf in order to nap: Go to YouTube and queue up ocean waves. It’ll work just as well.