I know we’re still dining out on the decrepit demagogue’s debate-night nonsense about Haitian immigrants feasting on white people’s pets. But I contend that one of the best thigh-slapping moments came later on, when he was queried about whether he’s finally ready to unroll his long-promised plan to replace Obamacare with something great the likes of which nobody has ever seen.
It took him awhile to get his brain working – he droned at length about how his White House regime had “a lot of good people,” whereas Joe Biden has “really bad ones” – but eventually he cobbled something together:
“What we will do is we’re looking at different plans…I have concepts of a plan…There are concepts and options we have to do that. And you’ll be hearing about it in the not-too-distant future.”
Maybe it’s the policy wonk in me, but that seemed just as hilarious as his dog-and-cat crap. Perhaps because he has peddled that snake oil so many times before, typically with the promise that something magical is just around the corner. Or perhaps I’m just blessed with access to Google.
First campaign, 2016: “We will immediately repeal and replace Obamacare – and nobody can do that like me.”
First campaign, 2016: Replacing Obamacare “is gonna be so easy…And we will do it very quickly.”
July 2017: “We’re gonna get that done, and I think we’re gonna surprise a lot of people.”
May 2018: “Wait’ll you see the plan we have coming up – literally over the next four weeks.”
June 2018: “We have a plan coming out in a very short period of time.”
May 2019: “We’re gonna have fantastic health care, and the plan is coming out in the next four weeks.”
June 2019: “We already have the concept of a plan…We’ll be announcing that in about two months.”
July 2020: “We’re signing a plan within two weeks.”
August 2020: “We’re going to be doing a very inclusive plan. I’ll be signing it very soon…Might be Sunday. But it’s going to be very soon.”
Keep it up, buddy! Here in 2024, you have to be stupider than a box of rocks to renew a vow to sabotage a health reform program that now has 60 percent support nationwide and covers a record-high 50 million Americans. And you have to be stupider still to keep parading the fact that your tired promise of an imminent policy nirvana has less worth than a tuft of used Kleenex.
Or, quite possibly, less worth than a MAGA cap in 2025.